NocTurnaL

i still love him...

pagi ini...dia nyamper ke rumah...maunya g, jaga jarak dan perlahan melupakan dan menyudahi semuanya...pas ngeliat dia,pengen rasanya g tampar aja tuh muka...pengen bgt g nonjok2in dia karena dah nyakitin g...tapi g ga bisa apa2...dia peluk g...ga g bales...dia pegang tangan g juga g cuekin...he even say sorry,but g ga dengerin...sampe akhirnya g ga tahan...pertahanan g jebol juga, nangis lagi g...g ga bisa cuekin dia...g ga bisa...g sayang bgt ma dia...dan kalo g milih untuk nyudahin hubungan g juga ga akan memperbaiki keadaan kan?...dia akan terluka namabah2in traumanya dia, dan g juga akan ancur dan nambah2in trauma g...lagian...G GA BISA...g sayang banget ma dia...lagian g dah janji ke diri g sendiri buat giving my best kan...apa kata dunia kalo g mundur sekarang ???

tembok yg dah g bangun ancur sendiri tadi...i love him...yah...ancur sekali lagi gpp kan?
moga2 g masi kuat...sampe g tua...moga2 g masi mau ngertiin dia...

well...let's start sumthing new then....

Cruel to be Kind...

Oh I can't take another heartache
Though you say you're my friend
I'm at my wits end
You say your love is bonafide
But that don't coincide
With the things that you do
And when I ask you to be nice
You say you gotta be

Cruel to be kind, in the right measure
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind, means that I love you
Baby (you gotta be cruel)
You gotta be cruel to be kind

Well I do my best to understand dear
But you still mystify, and I wanna know why
I pick myself up off the ground
To have you knock me back down
Again and again
And when I ask you to explain
You say you gotta be

Cruel to be kind, in the right measure
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind, means that I love you
Baby (you gotta be cruel)
You gotta be cruel to be kind

Well I do my best to understand dear
But you still mystify, and I wanna know why
I pick myself up off the ground
To have you knock me back down
Again and again
And when I ask you to explain
You say you gotta be

Cruel to be kind, in the right measure
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind, means that I love you
Baby (you gotta be cruel)
You gotta be cruel to be kind

(Cruel to be kind), in the right measure
(Cruel to be kind), it's a very, very, very good sign
(Cruel to be kind), means that I love you
Baby (you gotta be cruel)


You gotta be cruel to be kind

-letters to cleo-

what do you think ???

i shouldn't have falling 4 him...

“I wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have.”
            Fried Green Tomatoes

         

 

i wonder...if he just know that quotes...

todae...i wish it's just a nightmare...tapi ternyata nggak...

setelah sekian lama g ga menangis nyampe tersedu2 ampe keselek2...akhirnyaaaa ga tahan juga...

mungkin seharusnya g ga 'fallin' 4 him...seharusnya g tetep kekeuh perjuangin manusia reptil itu, seharusnya semua ini ga pernah terjadi...seharusnya kita tetep temenan aja...ga lebih...

suddenly...

i hate the fact that he's the only one i feel most comforable with...                            i hate the fact that i can just being myself when i'm with him...                                i hate the fact that i'm so fuckin miss him when he's not around...                             i hate the fact that he already win my heart over...                                                   i hate the fact that he's the one that make me cry yet he's the one that can stop me from cryin...                                                                                                           i hate the fact that i already love him so much...

kenapa g bodoh bgt...kenapa sebegitu cepet g melting...kenapa g mau aja selalu ngalah...

even as his girl...

dia masih lebih suka dengerin omongan orang lain...daripada yakin sama yg kita punya?, daripada nanya ke g...daripada mikirin perasaan g...dan guess what...sekarang RAMALAN yang dia percaya itu malah jadi kenyataan...kalo aja dia ga percaya...kalo aja dia yakin sama apa yang dia punya...mungkin hal tersebut ga akan terjadi...

YA TUHAAAAN...apa lagi sih yang mao lo kasi tunjuk ke g? berapa kali lagi g musti ancur? mungkin mang g kali ya yg bego...ga seharusnya g secepat itu melting...kalo g blon sayang ma dia...pasti ga sebegini sakit...

I REALLY NEED TO SMOKE...

dunno what to do now...i still love him...definately yes...but i can't stand another heartache...

so...can i trust my heart in u...4 a lifetime ???

The things that people in love do to each other they remember, and if they stay together it’s not because they forget, it’s because they forgive. — Indecent Proposal

I'm Yours...

Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it 
I tried to be chill but your so hot that I melted 
I fell right through the cracks, now I'm tryin to get back 
before the cool done run out I'll be givin it my best test 
and nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention 
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some 

But I won't hesitate no more, 
no more, it cannot wait 
I'm yours 

Well open up your mind and see like me 
open up your plans and damn you're free 
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love 
listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our godforsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved 

So, i won't hesitate no more, 
no more, it cannot wait i'm sure 
there's no need to complicate our time is short 
this is our fate
I'm yours 

*scat* 

I've been spendin' way too long checkin' my tongue in the mirror 
and bendin' over backwards just to try to see it clearer 
But my breath fogged up the glass 
and so I drew a new face and I laughed 
I guess what I'd be sayin' is there ain't no better reason 
to rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons 
it's what we aim to do 
our name is our virtue 

But I won't hesitate no more, 
no more it cannot wait
I'm yours 

Well open up your mind and see like me 
open up your plans and damn you're free 
look into your heart and you will find that the sky is yours 

so please don't, please don't, please don't, 
there's no need to complicate, 
Cause our time is short 
This, this, this is our fate, 
I'm yours


-jason mraz-

buat kamu...

...
hari ini aku nyesek lagi...
aku ribut lagi sama kamu, bikin kamu kesel lagi...
kayaknya aku ga pengertian bgt...
lagi selfish banget...

cuma aku pengen kamu tau aja...
kalo aku kangen banget sama kamu...
dan suka kesel karena aku ga bisa jadi cewek yg pengertian buat kamu...
seperti yang biasa terjadi...
maaf...

akhir-akhir ini kamu sibuk sama urusan kamu...
dan terkadang...aku merasa sedikit terabaikan...
aku kangen sama sms kamu...walaupun cuma sekedar nanya " lagi ngapain non? "
aku kangen balesan sms yang bilang " ...miss u beb..." walaupun kamu lagi teramat sibuk...

aku kangen sama sambutan pagi hari ketika bangun tidur disambut dengan sms "bebe...miss u...love u...dah bangun belum? lagi ngapaen? kangen kamu nih..."(secara akhir2 ini 'ritual' itu udah jarang kita lakukan kan ya...dan despite kamu yang keabisan pulsa pagi ini...)
ya..
mungkin aku yang lagi manja...
call me childish dis time...
but it's just me...that really2 misses u...

is it wrong ?...
maybe it is...
aku masi blon nemu something yang bener2 bikin aku ngerasa sibuk banget dan jadi lupa keadaan lingkungan...
maybe...at that time...i just hope that i still can have a time to miss u...and let u knoe...

yes...u will always be the first one to knoe how i feel...what i've been trough...no one else...especially what i feel 4 u...i won't hide it from u anymore...
maaf ya beb...kalo aku complicated...
maaf kalo aku susah dimengerti...dan banyak maunya...
jangan capek ya...
jangan nyerah...
i'm still trying too...to be a better person...
4 u...and 4 myself and others...
jangan capek...
jangan berhenti ya...
till one day...i'll be better...dan bisa ngertiin kamu sepenuhnya...maaf ya masi banyak maunya...masi nuntut kamu macem2...aku juga ga ngerti kenapa begini...perasaan sama yg kemaren2 ga sebegini sering ributnya...

aku cuma maw kamu tau...aku beneran mau berusaha untuk hubungan ini...aku sayang kamu beb...dan mungkin itu yang bikin aku kadang bertindak bodoh...maaf bgt...

aku masih akan terus sayang kamu beb...moga2 untuk seterusnya...selamanya...sampe tua kan kata kamu...i just hope so...jangan capek untuk nguatin aku ya...

sayang kamu sangat beb...maaf ya...atas semuanya...

the never on my list guy...

he's never on my list...
ga pernah masuk daftar gebetan...
ga pernah kebayang bisa dan mungkin jadian...
paling males kalo semua  orang pada ngomong kita cocok dan seharusnya jadian aja...
males banget ngadeppin kelakuannya yang suka ajaib, ngeselin, bikin bete berhari2, ga punya prinsip, dan "boyish" sekali...bener2 ga mature dan really annoying...
g bahkan tidak menyarankan orang lain untuk terjebak sama kelakuannya yang suka ajaib terhadap wanita2...
but he's still one of my close friends...
he even call me sister...
already lyk my bro lah...
eventough dahulu kala dia sempet nembak gue...
tapi beneran tak terpikir untuk jadian...

until...one day...
dari kelakuan bodoh yg ga jelas...
dari iseng tolol...
bermula dari kesirikan dengan pasangan gelo...
dia iseng mo nyobain gandeng tangan g...
secara dah g anggep dia adek g ya...ya sudahlah...secara gandengan doang...
eeehhh...malah kagok dianya...
g si...biasa aja...secara hati gw masi tertambat di pria lain ya...
datar aja...

2 minggu kemudian...
kembali berwisata dengan pasangan gelo...
target operasinya adalah...kota tua jakarta...
sok turis dengan mengunjungi museum...
entah karena apa...taw karena dia masi sirik dengan kemesraan pasangan gelo yang satu itu ato karena hal laen...
tiba2...
dia kembali menggandeng tangan g...
masi dengan perasaan g yg ga peka juga...
secara di hati g masi ada nama manusia reptil itu...
sebodo amet g-nya...
lagian suasana museum yg creepy juga mendukung...
g pikir dia agak merinding dengan suasana creepy itu...jadi ngajak gandengan untuk mengurangi hawa creepy...
walopun pasangan gelo mulae curiga...huahahaha
tapi g tetep dataaarrr...
walaupun mulai terganggu si...
dengan tatapan dari pasangan gelo yang seolah mengatakan "kalian cocok de...jadian aja napa?..."
dia tetep dong...tidak melepas tangannya untuk ngegandeng g...
malemnya...
disidang deh g-nya...
sama lexi...
ditanya...
mengapa tidak jadian saja dengannya...
dan g bilang... "i'm taken..."
dibales dengan "kan gantung?"
g bales dengan..."1. dia lebih muda lex...childish...dan g ga yakin he can handle me...or act more mature than me...2. i love someone else...n nothing can change that...ya ya i knoe...it's hopeless...but i still love him..."
dibalas dengan "ya ga tau ya ngel...tapi kenapa ga dicoba si...soalnya menurut gue...jesen ok kok orangnya..."
the never on my list guy cm diem dan mendengarkan...ga berkata apa2
jadi...topik disudahi...

besoknya...
g YMan sama never on my list guy...
mentertawakan kekonyolan pasangan gelo yang sepertinya senang sekali kalo melihat kita beneran jadian...
sampe akhirnya...dia mengaku...
kalo ternyata perasaannya ke g ternyata ga pernah berubah...sama seperti ketika dia pertama kali nembak g...
dan betapa dia merasa bego karena baru nyadar...
kalo dia sangat mencintai g...
...
...
...
...
g kaya kena BOM...
walaupun sempet kebaca dari tingkahnya...tapi g ga pernah nyangka ternyata bener...
selama ini g pikir...kita beneran dah kaya sodara...
g...SPEECHLESS...
ga tau musti ngomong apa...
a bit FLATTERED si sebenernya...
tpi beneran no idea...
trus g nanya..." kan lo tau...hati g sama sapa..."
dia cuma jawab " g tau...dan g ga minta lo bales perasaan g...g tau kok resikonya, apalagi dengan prinsip lo yg nggangep akan susah jadian sama cowok yg lebih muda...g ga ngarep, lagian g tau lo mencintai sapa...dan lo cm anggep g adek...g cm ngomong karena g ga bisa bohongin hati g lagi...g cm mo lo taw aja, kalo g sayang bgt ma lo..."
....

hari itu pertama kalinya dia ngaku...
dan hingga hari ini...
( g dah ga ngarep sama manusia reptil itu...karena beneran udah dead end...jadi g menyudahinya...)
dia masi terus bikin g speechless...
masi terus bikin g terkagum2 sama transformasinya...
dia bener2 ngebuktiin kalo dia bisa juga act mature...
dia ngebuktiin...kalo dia ga akan berhenti mencoba untuk mengerti g...
bener2 berusaha untuk bisa memahami g...
dan ga berhenti untuk mencintai g...
walaupun orangtua kita pada ga setuju...
tapi dia cuma tau satu hal "hati ga pernah salah"
betapapun g coba untuk nge-test dia...
he always find a way to make me sure of this relationship...
even in my worst...he still can say..."i don't care...i love u...i love the whole of u...and if i must hurt 2 make u a better person...i don't regret it..."
he's crazy...
crazy enuff 2 make me melt...
crazy enuff 4 not leaving...
even if i told him to leave...

how can i refuse 2 fall ?

hardly believe dat i'm finally fallin...
4 everything that he has done...
eventough he knoe that i might not love him yet...
but still he didn't give up...

if u ask...
if i love him...
now i would say .... YES...
ga da keraguan lagi...
he win my heart over...

walaupun masi ga tau apa yg dibikin ma TUHAN after dis...
i just hope that we can pass all the storm...
just pray 4 us ya'll...
:)

come what may...

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you


And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song, and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather,
And stars may collide

But I love you (I love you)
Until the end of time (until the end of time)

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Oh, come what may
Come what may
I will love you, oh I will love you

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

-moulin rouge-

love u bebe...

No One...

I just want you close 
Where you can stay forever 
You can be sure that it will only get better 

You and me together 
Through the days and nights 
I don’t worry cause everything’s ganna be all right 
People keep talking 
They can say what they like 
But all I know is everything’s ganna be alright 

No one no one no one can get in the way of what I’m feeling 
No one no one no one can get in the way of what I feel for you 
You, you 
Can get in the way of what I feel for you 

When the rain is pouring down 
And my heart is hurting 
You will always be around 
This I know for certain 

You and me together 
Through the days and nights 
I don’t worry cause everything’s ganna be all right 
People keep talking 
They can say what they like 
But all I know is everything’s ganna be alright 

No one no one no one can get in the way of what I’m feeling 
No one no one no one can get in the way of what I feel for you 
You, you 
Can get in the way of what I feel for you 

I know some people search the world 
To find something like what we have 
I know people will try, try to divide something so real 
So till the end of time I’m telling you there is no one 

No one no one no one can get in the way of what I’m feeling 
No one no one no one can get in the way of what I feel for you 
You, you 
Can get in the way of what I feel for u

Oh oh oh oh oh…  


-alicia keys-

to my hubby wannabe...bebe...kita berjuang bareng yaa... :) luv u...

Sepanjang Usia...

ak pernah ku bayangkan
tempati sisi hatimu yg kosong
jadi yg paling bahagia
dapati cinta itu

perlahan duka pun pergi
jauh tenggelam tinggalkan gundah
bertahun ku coba sendiri
berteman caci maki

takkan ku lepas lagi
kehadiranmu oh anugerah

sepanjang usia
kita trus bersama
mengarungi hidup dengan cinta
turut kehendakNya

sepanjang usia
ku tak mau terpisah
memberikan hatiku seutuhnya
hanya kepada dirimu

perlahan duka pun pergi
jauh tenggelam tinggalkan gundah
bertahun ku coba sendiri
berteman caci maki

-kerispatih-

buat : bebe-ku...bisa ga ya kita begini mpe tuwa? luv u hun...

Dengan Nafasmu

Dengan nafasmu aku hidup
Karena tawamu aku bahagia

Bersama dirimu aku tegar
Karena harimu adalah yang terbaik
Untuk dimiliki

Dan biarkan aku mencintaimu
Karena dirimu yang berarti
Dan izinkan aku menyayangimu
Hanyalah dirimu yang berharga

Ketika kau ada disampingku
Hidupku pun terasa damai
Seperti yang telah terbayangkan dalam benakku
Saat hatiku ada di hatimu
Dunia pun menjadi indah
Karena hatimulah yang aku inginkan
Karena hadirmu ku bermakna
Jadikan hidupku seakan di nirwana
Di alam dunia

Dan biarkan aku mencintaimu
Karena dirimu yang berarti
Dan izinkan aku menyayangimu
Hanyalah dirimu yang berharga

-samsons-

buat : bebe...my hubby wannabe...luv u boo... :)